Saturday, December 31, 2005 @6:59 PM
(edited)
its new year eve's today.. almost forgot today is new yr eve.. haha... 've been so busy e few days til dun even know wat day it is... went yuhua and river valley alumni band concert ytd... overall, nt bad.. quite good.. b4 going e concert, we (me, xc, tanny, xiao b, kaymiang, ah bass, juliet) went pass esplanade.. den there was this wishing 'pole?', for us to write our wishes down.. of coz, all of us wrote hoping tht this MD 29 will be a great sucess and ticket sales will be good.. other den tht, i've also written tht hopefully coming 2006 wont be full of shit for me... really hate 2005.. frm e 1st day of 2005, nth was smooth for me....
beginning of 2005used to be a care-free girl.. where everything seems so smoothly for me.. no study prob.. no bgr relationships.. no politics prob.. but as 2005 starts.. when i'm going to 18.. shit starts to come.. 1stly is relationship prob... hate to admit, its really terrible for me... cancerians r lidat..its hard for them to adapt n move on quick... but still life hav to go on... n it took me real real long to really moved on.... [but i nvr regret, i've had many memorable moments.. n sm r e most happiest moments i had so far =)]... den rumours start coming 1 by 1... though i know it wil be over when they get tired, but i stil hate it. n i mean hate it, nt dislike....
mid 2005when i've moved on.. its yr 2 for me le... got into committee, having a post of QM. it was quite smoothly for me at 1st, it seems ok... worked well with my partner too... while band this side was ok... shit happen on e study side... got into IC alone... where all my grp mates, close frenz in yr 1 got into food option instead... it was v weird at 1st, with gary, lingzhi, cheeann n zhiwei. coz i wasn't really close with them during yr1... slowly, started to click with them..... as for band side.. enjoyed my MD and e genting trip with yuan ru, jiahui n company.... but sad to see them graduate... starting to feel more n more lonely....
half-mid to end 2005QM job starts to become v v difficult for me... sick n tired to keep calling up e companies.. probs began to occur btw me n my partner, n also btw me and the band..hate going to e front n give announcements.. n worse i'm all alone to face all these myself.. [but again, i've nvr regret being a QM, i've really learnt alot of things during this one yr... n whenever 1 thing is done, there'll be a great sense of satisfaction].. used to hav kinda n yuanru to talk to.. yuanru had graduated.. kinda itp.. n also started drifting away frm e band... used to hav yuanru, jiahui n company.. so fun at tht time... but yuan ru, jiahui all grad.. kinda, joelly itp... as for classmates, they also wont understand how i feel.. everytime only will say: aiyah, u marry to band la, whenever i gotta c ms hope during break.. haiz...
end 2005
finally, e day i hope to come as come... 2005 is finally going to be over... used to hav a superstitious mentality tht this yr i'm so in deep shit coz this yr rabbits 'zhong tai shui'... zhong tai shui is much much worse than fan tai shui... tht's y, i've always been in deep shit watever i do.. 've read up e new yr chinese fortune book... haha... rabbit this yr nt v good also, but at least it nvr fan tai shui nor zhong tai shui.. lol.. so its a good sign... haha... last few days of 2005, really cant stand anymore... there's a hidden fear in my heart.. fear of wat? i'm nt sure also...
coming 2006now, main priority is to focus on MD 29 ba.. left 3 wks only... after tht will be concentrating on my studies n fyp...promised my future fyp mates tht i wont be so committed to band.. as for band.. got into committee again... i really dunno n i doubt my ability.. n whether i'll stay on, shall leave after MD den say... am really tired now... to think now, my frenz in band already getting lesser... n when after MD, my closer frenz like jiehong, joelly, xue chun left... i really really scared i cannot hang on anymore.. i admit my resolution for 2005 is to be independent. yes, i think i've grown abit independent compared to last yr.. but i really dun wish to be alone.. i really hope to hav someone stand by me... who will?? hmm...
hope 2006 wont be a shit year... really really pray hard for tht... n lastly, HAPPY NEW YR TO ALL!
new song- i'll stand by you... who will stand by me?
hope e nick of mine: shit always happen, will get to change in coming 200631st dec 2005 740pm